by Dr. Randy Carney

How do I get my husband to love me again?” may be your question. Just about all projects or goals of any size or importance require several steps during a period of time to complete. Projects which might be any level of complexity take time, preparation and staying with it through a number of phases over extended time periods. Setting out to get your husband to love you again is no exception. Choosing to break the destructive relationship cycle isn’t any different. Here are tips on how to get your husband to love you again in five easy steps.

Step 1. Quit Being Clingy

This will be important because when your husband feels smothered, he has a tendency to pull away. When you pull away somewhat, he will have the opportunity to initiate making contact again, like he did when you were dating. In the event you skip or ignore this, you will miss out on the opportunity for him to “pursue” you again. If there really is hope for restoration, this will be an essential step, and it will help you answer the question, “How can I get my husband to love me again?”

Step 2. Return to the Characteristics He Fell in Love With

This can be a really critical step that will need your full attention and concentration. You have to do it this way: He was attracted to you once, and he can be again. The reason why you need this is that life sometimes brings pressures that cause both of you to lose some of your earlier excitement and earlier characteristics. Remember what you used to be like. Then take steps to be that person again. Concentrate on one thing at a time. This is a good way to get your husband to love you again.

Step 3. See if Small Things Are Festering

The reason for this is to realize that little irritations can turn into big problems. Have you insisted on things that don’t really matter being your way? Maybe you need to “give up” some of your preferences.

Likewise, it is good to talk things over–things that you have avoided. Learn how to come to agreement over small disagreements..

Step 4. Find Out What He Cannot Resist

To explain and amplify on that some: It might take some new information to spice things up a little. This would be especially important if you have let the physical intimacy area of your marriage slip somewhat. He may be tempted to stray. However, if you find out what he can’t resist, you have much ammunition for winning the battle of getting him back.

Step 5. Show Him Respect

According to many studies, one of a man’s greatest needs is to be respected and admired by his wife.

There is a “love and respect” cycle in many marriages. The husband needs respect, and the wife needs love. If one fails in that area, the other is likely to react and not fulfill his or her part. This is the “destructive relationship cycle” that we referred to earlier. If you want his love again, you will have to make him feel respected.

The cycle works like this: The husband withdraws love. Then the wife withdraws respect. Then the husband resists showing love even more. Then the wife feels like respecting even less, and on and on it can go. If you want to get your husband to love you again, you will have to break the destructive relationship cycle.

Finally, assuming you have kept to the program and followed the tips well, you should have succeeded and will now have fun with the fruits of that success! You can now go on and take steps that will move your marriage toward a state of marital bliss. You could be a little bit pleased with yourself and self-satisfied! You achieved what you set out to accomplish! Savor the sweet taste of success! Now enjoy yourself and your marriage!

If you didn’t follow the tips set forth above, well… good luck anyway. You will probably need it…;-)

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Additional Information: Discover methods to approach a state of marital bliss by implementing six keys to success. You can get a free mini-course to help with this by going to my What Husbands Can’t Resist site at

The What Husbands Can’t Resist resource deals specifically with physical intimacy, but you will see that the principles help in many other areas too.